A Study Of Sundaes, Rotating Cakes And Rabid Dogs
by jegan
Summary: A story of the revealing of tuxedo mask and sailormoon as it has never been done before.


**Title: Study Of Sundaes, Rotating Cakes And Rabid Dogs**

**Rated: G-PG**

**Genre: Romance/Humour**

**Words: just over 3200**

**Chapters: one-shot**

**Author: Jegan**

**Disclaimer: (whoops – forgot to put this in b4) I do not own Sailormoon :P there! done!**

_I want to write a stupid story so here goes………_

_All Usagi ever wanted in life was to eat.  She didn't ask to be Sailormoon, Champion of Justice.  She didn't ask to suck at school work.  She didn't ask to always be late and she most definitely didn't ask to always be teased by a certain young man by the name of Mamoru who called her the dreaded name, Odango.  Yes, all she wanted was to eat a lot of food._

_This being the case on a certain Thursday afternoon after a day of being criticised by a certain Ms Haruna, it was understandable she was not in the mood to bump into none other than Mamoru at the arcade.  Which, of course, was what happened and where my delightful little wack begins………_

OOOOOOOOOMPH

"Hey Odango!  Watch where you're going!" Mamoru grumbled.

"Mamoru!  I'm not in the mood." She retorted, and walked right on by him to sit on a stool at the counter.  "Andrew!  I'd like a double – no make that a triple sundae with chocolate sauce, cream, nuts, everything you've got, puh-lease."

"Bad day, huh?" Andrew asked, politely.

"You don't want to know!"

"Awww poor Odango!  Failed yet another test did you?  Should I be ducking?  Don't want to be hit on the head by another 30% in a simple algebra test." Mamoru smirked, sitting down beside her.

"Who asked you?" she gave him a bored stare.  Andrew put a large bowl in front of her, brimming with ice creamy goodness. 

Her eyes lit up, "Thanks Andrew."  She greedily dug into it with a large spoon and crammed it all into her impossibly wide mouth.  Mamoru's face contorted with disgust; Andrew just grimaced.

A bell rang as the door to the arcade opened.  In came four girls laughing and chatting loudly.  The girl with long, glossy, black hair was the first to notice Usagi at the counter with the triple sundae.

"Hey greedy guts, what happened?" Rei called.  The other girls stopped their banter and stared amazedly at the large bowl of ice cream.

"Don't call me greedy guts!" she yelled tiredly, trying to stuff another spoonful into her already full mouth.

"Ugh!  Close your mouth, Usagi!" Lita complained.  The four girls took up stools around the counter.  Amy sat on Usagi's other side.

Whisking her short, blue hair out of her face, she attempted to reach the miserable blonde. "Usagi, do you want to tell me what the matter is?"

Usagi looked into her friend's intent gaze and spilled her guts, her eyes not leaving Amy's.  "I – I fell asleep in class and Ms Haruna, she – she read my notebook.  In – in front of everyone while I was asleep.  And that was this morning, s-so I've been bugged about it all d-day." She stuttered.  Turning back to her sundae she began to shovel it down even faster than before.  Amy pulled her into a comforting hug.

"Is that all?" Mamoru rolled his eyes.  He was on the verge of laughing hysterically and would have if Lita hadn't given him thump on the back that knocked the breath out of him.

"Is that all?  Mamoru!  That was the most insensitive thing to have ever come out of your mouth!" Minako screeched.  "Do you have any idea the kind of secrets a teenage girl writes in her diary?  We're talking seriously embarrassing stuff here.  The kind of things you don't want the whole school and more to know!"

"Oh," Mamoru just raised his eyebrows.

"Hey Usagi?" Rei began.  "Do you have money to pay for that sundae?"

Usagi's eyes widened in realization.

"Don't worry about it!  Hey Andrew, can you tab this to my bill?" Mamoru called.  The girls stared at him amazedly; speechless.

"Yeah, sure." Andrew smirked.

"Thank you, Mamoru." Usagi whispered, using his first name.  Her face split into a broad grin.  "This day isn't so bad after all I guess.  I mean I'm at the arcade with my friends and a large super sundae for free.  Sweet…now if only I could get the princess thing down pat…" she trailed off absentmindedly, but still grinning.  Luckily no-one heard her slip of the tongue.

"Soooo…what was in that diary?" Mamoru asked nonchalantly.

"Hehe… nice try, but no.  I'm not telling you that."

"Awwww come on Odango, the whole school already knows and I'm paying for your sundae."

"Thanks for reminding me." She screamed sarcastically.  "But the answer is still no.  That's my private business."

"She had a whole bunch of stuff about Tuxedo Mask and Sailormoon in there." Rei revealed.

"Rei how dare you!" Usagi screamed, blushing madly.  Being preoccupied with Rei she didn't notice Mamoru blushing also, but Minako and Amy did.

He tried to escape unnoticed whilst Usagi and Rei were exploding at each other, with Lita trying to hold them back from ripping each other to pieces.  But he was not so lucky.  Amy and Minako cornered him just before he got to the door.

"Nice try." Minako grinned.  "Care to share why you were blushing back there."

"Believe it or not, no." He matched her grin and tried to push past her.

"Oh no you don't Mister, you ain't going nowhere." Amy remarked, displaying incredible strength in preventing him from leaving." Mamoru jumped, in a very tuxedomask-like fashion, up into the air grabbing onto the door frame and swinging him self out the door in one fluid movement.  Sprinting at his top super power speed he made it to the park three blocks away in mere moments. 

Minako and Amy peered out the door amazedly unable to see him as he stood calmly in the distance not even short of breath after his escape.  Amy pulled out her little computer and calculated how fast he would have had to be traveling for them to have missed him and the details of the jump he'd just made.  Eyes wide she met Minako's glare.

"It's impossible…" she whispered.  "Unless…surely not…"

"Amyyyyyyyy tell meeee.  I'm not as smart as you.  What are you trying to say?" Minako whined.

"Mamoru…Tuxedo Mask…equal same person?" Amy puzzled.  Minako's eyes grew big and her hand flew to her mouth.  Suddenly she started to giggle.

"Usagi is gonna die when she finds out." She burst out into hysterical fits of laughter.  Usagi and Rei stopped fighting to stare at her, ignoring Lita's exasperated protests, "So now you stop!  Just because she's laughing!"  By now the whole arcade had stopped what they were doing to watch the incident unfolding.  Amy gently tugged on Minako's sleeve and led her outside.

"Minako, you can't tell Usagi."

"What!" She screeched.  "Awwww please.  Me is Goddess of Love and I need to see some Love action.  Rei won't admit she likes Chad and they is the only other couple I know of for sure are destined to be together.  Of course, that's only because you haven't introduced me to, what was his name again?  That guy you're always talking about?  Oh that's right Greg!"

Amy blushed, "Greg and me are not destined for each other, we are just friends.  Period.  And you are not match making Usagi and Mamoru no matter how much you want to." She whispered fiercely.

Mamoru sat on the couch of his apartment, his head in his hands.  It had been very risky of him to use his Tuxedo-Mask abilities.  _But_, he reasoned, _that was an extremely awkward question and answering it probably would have given me away any way.  _Pushing it to the back of his mind he relaxed into the couch and turned on the television.  He only paid half attention to it as the seven o'clock news began to rattle off about the weather for the rest of the week, his mind on the kiss with the princess at the ball.  He desperately wanted to know who she was.

All of a sudden he heard hero music playing, and it wasn't the tv.  He stood up immediately, senses on high alert.  Time stopped and he closed his eyes from the blinding light.  The music kept playing and he began to change; to transform into drum roll please Tuxedo- Mask sigh.

"Oh No!" he cried.  "Sailormoon is in trouble! … Again!"  He ran out the open window and began jumping across rooftops to reach his precious sailor scout.  In mid-air between one building and the next, he realized something very distressing.  It was pouring with rain.

"My roses, my roses!  My beautiful roses!" he sang in the rain.  "You awful rain!   Don't throw off my aim!" _What in the name of rainbow crystals is going on! _His thoughts screamed, bending into an earsplitting melody that made him cringe.  _I may not know music well, but even I know that sounded terrible._  He heard an all too familiar shriek pierce the night and he raced onwards trying to match it to the proper face.

In the streets of Tokyo, Japan, a hideous beast stood terrorizing the innocents who took the chance of riding public transport shudders at thought of buses four teenage girls dressed in sailor outfits stood staring horrified.  Strangely, their gaze was not directed at the monster, but at a blonde girl slumped over and crying.  This was the sight that Tuxedo-Mask approached as he sung in the rain.

"You're not supposed to be able to de- transform me!" she bawled.  "It's not fair!!"  The other girls looked on flabbergasted but also embarrassed at her display. 

Tuxedo- Mask looked on confused.  _Usagi__?_He thought, _What__ on earth is she doing here?  Why is she talking about de- transforming?  And where is Sailormoon?_  He shifted uncomfortably in his hiding place not liking the thoughts that were taunting his sub-conscious thoughts.  _They couldn't be the same person, could they?  No, can't be!  _He tried to reassure himself.

A black cat stalked onto the scene, rather huffily, her tail swishing high in the air.  If it was physically possible for a cat to be rolling its eyes, this cat would have been rolling her eyes right then.  She walked right up to Usagi and nudged her in the back.

"Then pick yourself up and transform again girl, honestly!" The cat shook its head disbelievingly.

"Luna! I'm so glad you're here!  You're absolutely right!" She swept the old cat into her arms and stood up.

"MOON CHRISM POWER!" she yelled.  Time stopped and hero music played, she closed her eyes against the blinding light.  She slowly rotated like one of those really cool rotating cake shelves that you just stare lustily at all day licking your lips like some starved dog. 

When all was done, Tuxedo- Mask just stood with his mouth open drooling, staring at Sailormoon.  _Usagi__ is Sailormoon.  Sailormoon is Usagi.  I am sworn to protect and have fallen hopelessly in love with …Usagi?!?!?!_  At this point he took a deep breath and his thoughts continued.  _I'm cool with that, look at how gorgeous she is._  For a moment his heart stopped, but then it realized that would make Tuxedo- Mask dead and he can't die because there are still around five or six series left to be filmed and he is way too much of a spunk that they won't be able to replace him.  Tuxedo- Mask looked at his chest and thought, _I like the way you think, dear heart._

"I am Sailormoon, Champion of Just-" Sailormoon began.

"Can we spare the line please, everyone's sick of it and you already said it before, the last time you transformed."  The monster spat.

"Uh- Oh." Rei grinned.  "Shouldn't have done that." She instructed the monster.  The other scouts nodded vigorously.

"Mars is right, you know."  Tuxedo- Mask conceded, stepping out from the shadows.  "Odango doesn't take kindly to insults, I should know by now."  He shook his head ruefully.

"My Name Is Not Odango!" she yelled.  Then realization hit her and she added in a whisper, "Mamoru…?"

The monster took her chance in Usagi's moment of confusion and blasted her with her power from behind.  Sailormoon became Usagi.  Usagi rolled her eyes heavenward and sighed, "Not again…" before she fell on the floor in a dead faint.

Amy stepped forward to take leadership, because she was the only smart one.  She got the Sailor scouts to combine their powers and drive the evil scum of the Negaverse back away until Tuxedo- Mask could revive Usagi.  Everyone snapped to attention, hurrying off to do what the usually quiet but always brainy girl had ordered.

Tuxedo- Mask knelt by Usagi's limp form and gathered her in his arms.  "Uh Oh., Uh Oh." He muttered repeatedly under his breath.  He hit his forehead over and over with the base of his hand frustrated until brilliance struck.  He quickly grabbed her nose effectively blocking it.  After a few moments she opened her mouth to breathe opening her eyes at the same moment.

She awoke to his face mere inches from her own.  _Oh I can't believe it!  Tuxedo- Mask is so close I can almost smell him.  I hope he kisses me! _ Her inner voice sighed.

"Odango!  Sheesh – you had me worried for a second back there."  Tuxedo- Mask said.

All romantic thoughts fled from Usagi's mind when she heard him utter the hated name.  She stared uncomprehending at him for a while before she pushed herself out of his arms.  "Mamoru?" she asked warily.  Searching what little she could see of his masked face.

He nodded, cautiously.  Usagi bawling was an horrifically ugly sight, to put it gently.  His prudence was well justified when she fell to the ground in a tantrum, screaming, crying and carrying on.  Her balled fists were flying everywhere, frequently bashing Tuxedo- Masks legs and nicely polished shoes.  Wisely he jumped out of the way.

"No need to be disappointed." He spat, hurt.  At this, Usagi looked up at him, a broad smile spanning across her face.  All trace of tears was gone.  She jumped to her feet and gave him a quick peck on the lips.

"Oh, I'm not disappointed.  You can be sure of that."  She flirted.  Running a short distance away from him, her trademark theme music began to play.  She threw her hand up into the air triumphantly and yelled, "MOON CHRISM POWER!"

The readers of this fanfic waited with bated breath.  DUN DUN DUN – Nothing happened – No light flashed – the theme music buzzed itself into silence – Usagi was still Usagi.  Angrily, Usagi turned her fiery gaze to the author, "Get it right this time or you're moon dust or even worse – I'll fire you with out pay! Got it?" she hissed through gritted teeth.  The author nodded her head sheepishly.  "Good!" Usagi yelled.

"I'll just not mention that I'm not getting paid by you or anyone else for that matter… yet." She muttered to herself, under her breath, trailing off into quiet but insanely maniacal laughter.

Cheap and nasty theme music began to squeak out its torturous tune.  "MOON CHRISM POWER!" Usagi yelled, for what felt like the thousandth time that night.  Colourful light swirled and in moments Usagi had become Sailormoon.  Again.

"You're moon dust Mega Scum." She screamed.  Taking her now- glowing tiara off of her head she threw it at the monster as one would throw a Frisbee at a rabid dog, except the dog chases madly after you biting at your heels whereas the monster becomes a pile of dust to be swept under the bed to live amongst the rats and half-eaten dinners from three years ago.

Having moon dusted the monster, Sailor moon turned to face Tuxedo- Mask, smiling.  With a skip in her step she ran over to him.  Nearly within reach of his arms, she tripped over her feet and fell on top him, knocking them both to the ground, him without any air.  As she was on top of him, she lifted herself of him a little bit – just a little bit mind you because she could feel how well toned his chest was through his Tuxedo- Mask outfit – just to give him a little bit of air.  Reaching up she pulled off his mask and gazed longingly into his eyes.

"I love your eyes," She whispered, glancing briefly and expectantly at his lips.

"I love **_you._**" He whispered in reply, bringing his mouth up to meet hers in a sweet and loving kiss.  His arms were around her waist as she lay on top of him, her hands rested gently on his chest.

The other sailor scouts milled about covering smiles behind their hands, Amy and Minako sharing knowing glances.  Realizing that neither was going to stop kissing and get up off the ground, Sailor Mars took some initiative.  She went over to the kissing couple who were still on the ground and gave them each a soft kick in the ribs.  They stopped kissing to glare angrily at Sailor Mars who was standing with her hands on her hips crossly.  Although her lips formed a smile that she could not mask.  Grudgingly, the new couple got to their feet only to be found immediately back in each others arms feverishly kissing every spot of bare skin to be found on the other.

Some many days later, Mamoru and Usagi were walking through the park hand in hand, flashing each other glances and smiling goofily.  They stopped by a bench by the lake and sat down.

"Sere," Mamoru began.  "You remember when you found out that I was, well, you know who.  Why did you cry?"

"Ohhhhhh, … that." Usagi laughed and then her expression turned serious.  "Because the annoying author refused to write a Usagi and Mamoru romance story if I didn't one: have a klutz attack and two: bawl my eyes out at least once.  So yeah.  It's all her fault."  They both glared at the tiny, impish author who was poking her head out of Usagi's handbag and hurriedly taking down notes in her trusty notepad.  Mamoru swatted her away with the back of his hand like the measly and disgusting little bug that she most certainly wasn't.

"You'll pay for that Mamoru Shields!" she squeaked, rubbing her behind with vigor.  "If I ever write a sequel I'll either kill you off or make you my personal slave!  Maybe both!" Laughing evilly she ran away into the grass that was taller than her to escape the boot Mamoru had poised to kick at her.

"You know, she's not all that bad an author," Usagi stated.  Seeing the bewildered look in his eyes she explained, "because she lets us kiss so much and I do like that…" she trailed off as his lips engaged hers in yet another dance of their tongues beautifully orchestrated by the author.

In the distance, somewhere else, Amy and Minako observed the happy couple.

"Awww." Minako sighed.  "Now I just have to get you and this Greg guy together and Raye and Chad and find someone for Lita and well…me."

"For the last time," Amy raged. "Greg and I are just friends!  Stay out of my love life."

**Yours truly, the one and only, the infamous, the one you all know and love**

**drum roll please**

**-JEGAN-**

**I know – what an anticlimax – well anyways – till next time**

**  Tha- tha- That's all folks! **

**PS – please tell me if any of the names are incorrect – I grew up watching the dubbed version and am only semi familiar with the other names**


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